You & Your Child
Gone are the days, when parents had easy time handling many children at a time. They might have felt it easy, as they never observed the amount of anxiety their children went through and more importantly because the kids never exhibited their anxiety.
Times have changed and comics have been replaced by video games, static toys by electronic ones and toy bikes with real life battery operated bikes. Children today are more focused about what they want, what they wear and who they interact with.
Handling a child is not a cakewalk and if you have to deal with two of them together, you may go mad.
Double trouble is what most parents with two kids have to go through these days. So, what’s this great fuss about “two-kids syndrome?”
The basic fact every adult should understand is that each child is different from birth and remain so no matter how they are parented. All girls don’t love to be wrapped in pink and all boys are not passionate about blue. One may go nuts over video games but the other hale it and love to be friends with Harry Potter.
Your girl child may go ga-ga over dance classes, but her brother may prefer practicing Martial arts. Hence, most parents find it extremely difficult to handle kids with different temperamental. Most parents think that they are in two different worlds when dealing with their child individually.
Many describe it as “two-world syndrome” that follows them everywhere, from holiday plans to movies and dinner. Planning a dinner out at a Chinese restaurant on a Saturday night may be a hard nut to crack if one of your children is crazy about having a hamburger at Mac Donald’s.
How would you slot a movie for Sunday with kids having divergent tastes? Parents find catering to two different worlds time consuming and they get exhausted after a day’s tantrums and moods swings.
If there are still some people who consider bringing up children with different temperamental, a child’s play, here is a list of different categories, children can be fit into as per the observation made by Helen Neville & Diane Clark Johnson, the authors of Temperamental tools.
a) Pulu puppy: A child having moderate temperature.
b) Camber Chameleon: Low energy, highly adaptable child.
c) Tarita Turtle: A child with low energy who can be easily discouraged.
d) Fenler fawn: A sensitive, intense, cautious child.
e) Tiganda Tiger: Intense, slow-adapting child.
f) Walocka Whale: Active & slow-adapting child.
g) Bear Cub Combo: An active, intense, easily frustrated, slow-adapting child.
Helen & Diane believe that children are different and one cannot change their temperamental by parenting. This is further justified by the fact that most some babies are sensitive to certain food flavors, room temperature & clothing textures.
There are also some babies who aren’t just bothered about food flavors, clothing texture or room temperature. Some children are very persistent and try, even retry things till they achieve what they want, while there are others who just move on.
Dr. James Cameron, a famous temperament researcher has studied thousands of babies and came to a conclusion that there are only nine temperament traits of babies as mentioned above. He also believes that combinations of these traits can offer a lucid elucidation of the behaviors of different kinds of kids.
The key to handle children with varied temperament is to understand the emotional reactions of parents towards children. Some parents might prefer shy, timid child whereas others may love to have enthusiastic, child. You must keep in mind not to disclose it to your child ever. It is very likely to have a preference for one between two kids but expressing it would only make things worse.
Once your children get to know the traits you love & the preference you have, the child may over do it. A shy & timid child would get shyer & the enthusiastic one would jump higher. Maintaining a balance is very important.
You may even consult a good child psychiatrist to solve your problems related to the two-kids, two-world syndrome.
